Many reasons... I started out playing the role of a digital photographer in a commercial for Harrington College of Design, can you get any more perfect?
It was sooo surreal. I played someone who was documenting the entire renovation & OPENING DAY of what I'd like to think of an private art exhibit (the client). In the beginning I didn't care about the camera just focused on acting pretending to take photographs... but then towards the middle I started actually taking photographs and video taping the whole process. I wanted the crew to get some great shots of themselves doing their job as well. I was just plain photographing I wasn't even modeling/acting. I just wanted to capture something... It was the strangest thing. It was real to me, I was doing my job. But most importantly it was real to me. I kind of wish I had those photographs so I could remember today but, I'm sure the commercial works just as well.
And before this I was asked by a gentlemen "what is your dream job" we all get this question all the time and me more so lately and I never ever know how to answer it, but today I gave up the hesitation and said, "to live off of my art, whatever it is I do, going through my artistic transitioning" and the fact that they thought it would benefit me and make me more marketable to be both in front and behind the camera, and that they took my answer as a viable answer, just was like "wow!! that means soooo much". It was like an epiphany! But it was the fact that I had always had the answer and never wanted to say it, that's the truth. Because I thought it was too crazy of a dream.
Then on top of that I got 3 jobs in one day! A 3M shoot next week (that is paying A LOT), a genmills temp job, and an audition for *cross your fingers everyone* parttiming as a live model @ ShopNBC.
Its crazy because I was selling the dream to myself and an audience. The commercial tag line was like, "u love it. Now do it!"
And its like I told myself, you know this IS something you could do everyday. Not sitting in a cube (like others agreed with) and doing something! WHAT I DID TODAY IS WHAT I WANT TO DO!!
God, Both!!!-I want to model/perform and photograph or create somehow!
What an interesting day. I need that commercial. Coz, I'm the audience.
I met other people with dreams in film, acting, having their own jewelry business, their own marketing business... That's inspiring to me! Like other people are fighting too! Its such a fight.
Its like I looked through a window and saw what could be my life. And I have to let myself be happy. Let myself be happy. Let myself be happy.
Let myself be happy.