Seriously I do forget sometimes why I left. You think to yourself, oh it couldn't have been that bad!?!? ... After a year+ long hiatus, I now remember why I took it...
As I move forward in my retouching business... I now understand the choices I have made in becoming a retoucher and a student of dance.
What photography brings me...
Conceptualizing is a strong suite of mine, in any form of art.
But it's the process after the concept...
There is nothing worse than having to rely on other people in order to create your art. Period.
Your hard work is literally nothing, as in the ART LITERALLY WILL NOT GET MADE if you don't at the very least have a model.
I produce quality work so, my vision is clearer with a hair and makeup artist. Again my vision clearer with wardrobe styling. MORE FUCKING PEOPLE!
Now, Where are you going to shoot? Will you find it? If you do find it, is it city property and will you need a permit? Is it inside--Will you need to pay for the location?...
Even typing this all makes me want to cut my head off.
Now Scheduling: I am a very prompt person. I want a response within 12 hours maximum. 24 hours curtesy. Please don't get me started on the inconsiderate bastard fuckers who don't reply at all! And you wait, (it's getting closer to shoot date), and you wait (it's getting closer to shoot date), and you wait.... OH SHIT! Tomorrows the shoot, thank you FUCKERS ! Anyone who isn't professional and is not prompt--I will not work with again! Period. I don't care how good your shit is!
And see, I'm PISSED, and this should be something that brings good energy to me. It's MY mother fucking art!
On top of that, if I'm keeping up with the latest trends this that, I can't help to criticize myself as a model... "Why can't I lose 20 more pounds when I'm already 105lbs!?!?" "Why can't I grow an extra 8 inches?" "How come I don't have as good of bone structure as her?" "Why doesn't my agency do that for me!?!" BULL FUCKING SHIT!
Oh by the way if you want to work TFP, Pray to god that the people show up to your shoot too! Because how sad would that be if you have a makeup artist, a wardrobe stylist, and my fucking artwork on the line-- and the model is "sick" !!! Yep, the artwork is just not going to made! PERIOD. And also time to spill out your apologies to the other people that just waisted their time...
Oh, and have fun lugging around 100 pounds of equipment too!
That is why I left. Now I'm pissed off all over fucking again!!!!
The only actual JOY I receive is sitting down on my ass looking through the photographs ALONE on my computer, and editing! Peace and quiet while I stare at the photograph for hours on end, with music playing in the background! That is LOVE. That is peaceful. I just love starring at photographs. That is the BEST part of it all.
And that is why I'm starting my own retouch business.
And with dance, Where do I begin? It's a whole nother blog of joy!